Do what you can this month to save face

Now that we've survived April Fool's Day (good thing it wasn'ttoday, otherwise you wouldn't believe a word of what follows), let'ssee what the month has in store for us.

My calendar says it's Keep America Beautiful Month, and a pressrelease from three dental groups says it's also National FacialProtection Month. Which is a nice combination when you think aboutit. If we all protect our faces, the place probably will look better.

Except for the stuff the dental professionals suggest we wear.Helmets, mouth guards, face shields.

They also suggest we use common sense -- "Wear mouth guards forcontact sports (soccer, yes; chess, probably not)" is their keyexample.

Clean up

Speaking of keeping America beautiful, if you're going to cleanyour siding, don't get on a ladder with a bucket of soapy water.

"There's an easier way to make your home look as good as you do,"says Debby Robinson, co-host of a radio show called "Money Pit.""Simply use a pressure washer to blast away the layers of mold andmuck."

You should have seen me before I blasted away the layers of moldand muck. Not a pretty sight.

Paws for reflection

Let's salute the cat survivor of the year, at least in Britain.

An animal charity there called Cats Protection gives severalRescue Cat of the Year awards. This year's long-distance travelwinner is an American cat. Well, probably.

Houston was about 6 months old when she arrived in Aberdeen,Scotland, in a cargo container after a six-week trans-Atlantic voyagethat began in Houston (hence her name), barely alive. No food, nowater. "She must have survived on condensation," the woman whoadopted her says. Vets put her on an IV drip and gave her artificialblood and she gradually recovered.

Cats Protection, which runs shelters and finds new homes forabandoned cats, gave the awards Wednesday night at a charity dinnerat London's Savoy Hotel. There are worse ways to spend your money.

Wanted: $6,000 shower curtain

And this may be one of them. Overheard among three people talkingoutside a new Lincoln Park brownstone: "So if they come back for the$12,000 bathtub, we have to delineate..."

The $12,000 bathtub? Obviously, there are difficult decisionsbeing made here.

Almost two years' tuition at U. of I. -- or the bathtub?

The Hyundai Accent -- or the bathtub?

Seats of higher learning

DePaul University has an ad on the spiffy bus shelter at Fullertonand Stockton.

"You deserve the kind of lumbar support found in upper managementchairs," it reads.

Future Dennis Kozlowskis of the greater Chicago area, take note.

Coffee klatsch

Starbucks held its annual meeting this week, kicking off the three-hour bash with Chairman Howard Schultz conducting a band ofpercussionists, one of whom was CEO Orin Smith on a big pair ofdrums.

Several of the company's executives sang and danced in skitsplayed on a large-screen projector.

Hope they had some of that upper-management-chair lumbar supportafter the show.

Anyway, the meeting also featured a live performance by EmmylouHarris -- whose favorite songs will be on an upcoming Starbucks CD --as well as acrobats.

That wasn't enough for a couple of shareholders, who groused thatthe company doesn't pay dividends. True, but its annual report didinclude a Starbucks card preloaded with $3.50 -- not enough for atotally frou-frou drink, maybe, but still nothing to sneeze at.

Start your day right

An Oregon food gift company is recalling nearly 8,000 packages ofbreakfast cookies because they contain undeclared almonds and pecansand pose a health risk to people with allergies.

The company removed raspberry chocolate "Up With the Sun BreakfastCookies" from stores.

First Pop Tarts, now breakfast cookies. Is it still the mostimportant meal of the day?

Lovely Spam, wonderful Spam

Or is the most important meal any meal that features Spam?

Wednesday was Spam Day in Minnesota (where Spam-maker Hormel isbased), thanks to state Rep. Jeff Anderson, who invited the Spamettesto serenade his fellow public servants.

And in the Philippines, Philip Abadilla has opened the world'sfirst Spam restaurant, Spamjam.

Everything on the menu has Spam in it (thanks, Monty Python)except for the french fries and hot dogs.

Hormel hopes to take the restaurant to other countries.

Contributing: AP, Bloomberg News